An Unlikely (or Unexpected) God-Story

Back in January, I was having my quiet time after New Year's and reflecting back on how incredibly different my life is in 2010 versus 2000. Lots of praising God for the immense work He's done in completely 180-ing my life in that decade. I mean, my life was ridiculous in 2000. Didn't know the Lord (for SURE!), didn't live in Austin, wasn't married, was running around with boys, a drunk, materialistic, anti-religious athiest, mom was alive, sister was alive, you name it... Anyway, I was truly marveling and how He can redeem and purify my life.

Then I started forward praying... wondering how He might change my life even more over the NEXT 10 years. What would I be celebrating after New Year's in 2020?! How could He possibly do MORE than He has already done?! (Not that I think I am "complete", but just thinking He's taken care of so many "majors".) So, as I was praying and wondering, I literally wrote: "I guess if You're gonna MAKE us have kids, that would happen sometime in the next decade cuz I am getting 'old'."

As soon as I wrote that in my prayer journal, I felt the Holy Spirit whisper... "How bout you talk to Me (God) about that?" Uhhhh, what?! I was shocked. And a little freaked out. So, I immediately started prayer-journaling (for 7pgs) about all the reasons why I didn't want kids, had never wanted kids (as in, never in my entire life), was scared to have to kids, felt called to not have kids, etc. Page after page, I poured out my heart to God with every rational and irrational excuse I could think of.

When I got the end of my pleading and talking, again I felt the Holy Spirit whisper... "Is that all? Cuz I am bigger than all of that." With eyes bulging, lump in throat, I closed my Bible & journal and went to find Andy in the other room. "Uhhh, Andy, we need to talk."

I started to tell him everything that had just happened-- the whole blow by blow-- and the entire time he's listening, he has this strange smile/smirk on his face. His response was so strange to me that I finally asked: "What's the deal?! Have you been praying for God to change my heart about all this or something?!" He adamantly denied it, saying "NO! I swear!!! ... but God started to talking to me about the same thing just a few days ago in my quiet time." I started bawling (the freak-out kind of crying). What does all this mean?!!?

So we both talked through (really, I cried through) the 100s of reasons why kids weren't for us. All our fears. All our selfishness. All our desires for how we envisioned our life together. But we ultimately couldn't deny God was speaking to us about it with a new agenda for the first time. Andy suggested we both take a week to separately explore it in prayer and the Word and talk to a few people about the potential shift. At the end of the 7 days we'd reconvene on the subject and see what we thought God was saying.

It was a strange and scary 7 days. But ultimately at its close, neither of us could deny what God was saying... He was asking us to have kids. Ouch. This was a total paradigm shift for me and completely foreign to even THINK about! But I couldn't ignore what was plain and clear, His call was real. And I (oddly) had a great peace about it... despite all my fears. If God was calling us to it, then I felt sure I could trust Him, even if it made no sense to me.

I immediately asked Andy if I could "have" 6 months to let the shift sink in before we did anything about it. But in his wisdom, Andy said if God has made His call clear, we shouldn't delay in responding. But in God's great mercy, He gave me 7 months before we actually conceived. In that time, He did a lot of work in me, helping me come to terms with a new game plan.

Now, I'm more than half way through my pregnancy. We are having a little girl in March. I still needed all the time I've gotten so far during pregnancy to continue to process. There is a LOT I am having to mourn & let go of. And there are plenty of dreams I am having to pray about assimilating our kids into. We don't feel a game change in our unique ministry calls. We certainly don't feel kids change our focus on serving the Lord FIRST. But I recognize there is a lot I am gonna have to learn as we go...

So, that's our unlikely story. But isn't it just like God?! I can only find comfort & peace when I trust & lean into Him about the whole thing.

My In-Laws

Here are Joe & Kay singing karaoke at their 4th of July party in Houston. These are my in-laws... Andy's blood. I LOVE this picture of them because it just captures their charisma so well! Here's a short-list of things they are famous for:

1. wearing matching outfits everyday (every.)
2. karaoke (they own their own K.J. business called Lone Star Karaoke and gig several nights a week; they also have a permanent system set up in the family living room for whenever the itch arises.)
3. character (they are full of energy and always keep things interesting, full of great stories)
4. love of their kids (they SERIOUSLY love their 4 kids! And you can see a bit of that from their generous memorials to every child in photos on the wall.)

To drive home just how unique and awesome they are, here's also a short list (I promise this is just a sampling!) of hobbies or extra jobs they've held over the years:

1. trail ride captains for the Sam Houston Rodeo
2. exotic bird pet shop owners
3. square dance caller & square dance queen
4. 300 game bowlers
5. disco fever partiers
6. hosts of their own rodeo at Circle M Ranch (their home)
   
7. piano player & choir singer
8. daytime court TV stars
9. band booster club presidents
   
10. cell phone tower pimps
    
11. Lake Conroe sailboaters
12. early '80s home satellite dish entrepreneurs

Just wanted you all to meet them... in the web-world sort of way. :)

A Quiet Phase

I have had a few people email wondering where I wandered off too this week in the blog-o-sphere. Truth is, I haven't felt much like writing. This past Sunday, Sept 14th, was my mom's birthday. She died when I was 25 and I think I find myself missing her more around birthdays than I do on the anniversary of her death. I don't get near as weepy after so many years, but I think I just get more quiet. I don't talk as much. I think a lot more. I just process, internally, the life that continues on around me. Plus, the "semester" really got underway for me this week and I have been busier than normal. That combination has lured me into going AWOL, if just for a week or so. So, thanks to those who've wondered where I went... I will slowly return, little bits at a time.

Happy Birthday Dad!

My dad, the year that I was born.

Today is my dad's 65th birthday. YEAH! Happy Birthday! Yesterday I decided to flip through some old photos of the fam growing up and see if I could find a good father-daughter pic for a present. Considering I just got back from Turkey, I found myself noticing so many pictures of us on trips together. One of my consistent childhood memories of my dad was his travels. Our family took advantage of every school break to travel somewhere new. But I also remember, there were mornings when I'd come downstairs for breakfast before school and ask "where's dad?" my mom would tell me "Oh, he's in Haiti, he'll be back next week" or "Oh, he flew to Singapore last night, he'll be home in 2 weeks." I remember thinking how strange, and yet how exciting! I always knew he would return, and with some neat pictures (or souveniers for me) to show me.

I don't think I realized at the time how much my dad's travel impacted who I would become. I, myself, am a traveler. Whether it's a trip for history, for education, for adventure, for rest, for fun, or for serving Jesus through humanitarian help... I watched him go on them all, and he taught me to do the same.

I remember when I was in college, my grandparents (my dad's parents) started just giving me money for birthday gifts and telling me they were giving me "the gift of memories." With it, I was supposed to take a trip to somewhere new. So I guess my dad, in some ways, got his traveling genes from his parents too. Who knows?!

So today, on your birthday, dad, I give you the gift of thanks-- thank you for being part of who I have become-- and a few snapshot memories of travels we've shared together...

Plymouth, Thanksgiving 1980. Dad, Amy, Ally, and little Anna.

Trekking through the jungles in Jamaica, Spring Break 1984. Me and dad, hand in hand on an adventure!

Emerging from the dungeon of Warwick Castle in England, May 1987.

Resting in the arms of my father in Santa Fe, Summer 1992.

A Snapshot from Our Time Away (written from the dead HEAT of summer)

Andy and I returned home from his sabbatical on Monday, arriving to a house with no A/C (and apparently A/C repairmen are in high demand right now leaving us boiling for a few more days). I am really glad to be back in Austin. I sure missed being around my friends and church family. But to celebrate what my time off held, I thought I’d list out a few of my favorite moments while away:

1.) ANDY GRILLING! We got a simple grill as a wedding gift (back in 2004) which has stayed neatly packaged in the box until this past month. Andy decided it was time to crack open the gift and get grilling already. He really enjoys it—and is a natural. Usually, I cook while he is working and then he comes up (when he’s done) and we eat together. But with him grilling, he’s cooking while I’m cooking. We get to share that time together. Plus, he says he finally understands why I get frustrated when he doesn’t come up from the studio when dinner’s ready—because the food gets cold and isn’t as good. There was a meaning to my madness after all, he says. : )

2.) SHARING THE HOPE SEMINARS! Andy and I listened to a set of seminars on CD that I had purchased from The Crescent Project (http://www.crescentproject.org/). Fouad Masri, the founder of the organization had come to speak at one of the “Encountering the World of Islam” classes I took in 2006 and I bought the CDs then. He is sooo inspiring in his evangelism to the Muslim world and so helpful in educating Christians in the cultural and religious beliefs of his (former) people. The 4 part seminar teaches you how to share the hope we have in Christ with the Muslims in your life. Andy and I listened while driving our many road-trips and our love for this population grew more deep the more we learned. If you want to know more about this particular seminar series, click this link: http://crescentproject.org/sharingthehope.cfm

3.) LOST! We are 24 fans. Not Lost fans. Until now. In our time off, we managed to start (and finish) all 4 seasons of Lost. First I loved Jack, now he’s on my hit list. First I hated Sawyer, now I am rooting for him. First I thought the “Others” thing was stupid, now I am totally hooked. I love how Charlie miraculously straightened his tiny, British teeth between Season 1 and 2. I love Desmond and Sayid. I can’t stand Ben. Even Juliette bugs. I really want to know what the deal is with the "others" guy that never ages. And Locke’s worship of the island is a bit tiresome. Now, we are simply frustrated that we have to wait till fall for the saga to continue (and even then we can’t watch 6 straight episodes because they’ll only come once a week).

4.) SURPRISES! My oldest sister lives in Virginia and we rarely get to see each other. But when I heard that she was flying to Texas for just one night to drop off her kids for a grandparent vacation, Andy and I decided to drive up to Fort Worth to surprise her. We arrived at my dad’s house while he was still at the airport picking her up. Andy laughed at me as I paced back and forth in front of the window, on the look-out for their car, so we could make sure and run hide before she walked in the door. Our plan was to hide in my dad’s room and let our dogs greet them at the door to confuse her, then we jumped out and yelled “Surprise!” It was sooo fun! We cooked a big family dinner and stayed up talking for a while. And before we even got up the next day, she was back on a plane to VA. Short, but definitely sweet!

5.) FISHING! I haven’t fished, really, since I was a kid. Back then my mom used to bait my hook, fish sitting next to me, and take any catch off my line for me. (I realize that makes me spoiled.) Fast forward to 2008, my sweet husband took on the role… all I had to do was cast the line and reel it in. He would put on the worms and pull the hook out of the fish’s mouth. It was so fun! (And “ewww”-free for me.) Below are two pictures of me “fishing”—one of my tiniest catch and one of my biggest catch (my flip flop was my measuring stick).